Faith-based bathroom break

A Miami (Ohio) University student confessed after he was caught in an alley urinating on holy ground.

When officers asked 19-year-old Jacob Pleban whether he realized he was whizzing on the Methodist church, Pleban replied, “I’m Catholic.”

Pleban was charged with public urination, disorderly conduct and underage intoxication.

Read more at the Washington Examiner: http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/local/Stupid-Crimes-603388-101612068.html#ixzz0xuFKwkYs

I’ll NEVER admit how long it took me to figure this out. But, I’ll tell you this – I was still waiting for that first pot of coffee to brew and squinting my eyes to cut down the blur.

If this video gets you excited you must either a) be a nun or b) have kids.

I was putting together a shopping list of back to school supplies and realized I really can’t afford my kids anymore.   I wonder if it’s too late to return them?  I guess I could start my own mini temp agency and  hire them out to neighbors for odd jobs.

I used to love the back to school shopping ritual when only one of the kids was in school and my husbands job wasn’t affected by the economy.  Now with 3 kids in school and an extreme lack of  jobs in my husbands field,  I’m afraid of it.

When did the grade school supply list start looking like the inventory of an office max store?  Back when my mom had to shop for six of us back packs were only used by major geeks and the only supplies we needed were paper, pens and pencils.  Look at my shopping list (and this doesn’t include new shoes and clothes and backpacks I HAVE to get for my kids that are growing like a bunch of crazy freaks).

Kindergarten
white glue or stick
crayons
pencils
scissors
pocket folders
composition notebook (hardback black and white)
towel/rest mat
tissues
supply box
dry erase markers

6th Grade
· pencils (No. 2, mechanical)
· pens (black and dark blue)
· loose-leaf paper
· scissors
· 2 or 3 Composition books
· Several 3-prong and 2-pocket folders
· 3 or 4 Spiral notebooks
· 2 or 3 3-ring binders (At least one “trapper keeper” style binder is suggested)
· dividers for binders to separate classwork
· ruler
· hand sanitizer
· hole puncher for binder
· colored pencils
· highlighters
· index cards
· glue stick (not neon or gel)
·   personal pencil sharpener with top for shavings
·   tissue

7th Grade
½ inch 3-ring binders – 4
2 inch binders with tabs – 2
Composition books – 1
Spiral notebook with 200 sheets – 3
Notebook paper
Pens (black and dark blue)
Pencils (no. 2)
Box of colored pencils
Box of markers
Highlighters
Box of tissues
Ruler with inches and centimeters
Protractor
Scissors (round tips only)
Graph paper

Story Number one – your typical annoying church getting the shaft from the naughty, naked strippers.  You gotta love all the free speech and assembly stuff.  I LOVE IT!!!

Churchgoers, strippers protest one another in Coshocton County

Strip-club owner Tommy George rolled up to the church in his grabber-orange Dodge Challenger, drinking a Mountain Dew at 9 in the morning and smoking a cigarette he had just rolled himself.Pastor Bill Dunfee stepped out of a tan Nissan Murano, clutching a Bible in one hand and his sermon in the other, a touch of spray holding his perfectly coiffed ‘do in place.

Inside the New Beginnings Ministries church, Dunfee’s worshippers wore polyester and pearls.

Outside, George’s strippers wore bikinis and belly rings.

Both men agree it is classic sinners vs. saints. But George says it is up to America to decide which is which and who is who.

Dunfee says God already has chosen.

“Tom George is a parasite, a man without judgment,” Dunfee said. “The word of Jesus Christ says you cannot share territory with the devil.”

The battle that has heretofore played out in the parking lot of George’s strip club – the Foxhole, a run-down, garage-like building at a Coshocton County crossroads called Newcastle – has shifted 7 miles east to Church Street.

Every weekend for the last four years, Dunfee and members of his ministry have stood watch over George’s joint, taking up residence in the right of way with signs, video cameras and bullhorns in hand. They videotape customers’ license plates and post them online, and they try to save the souls of anyone who comes and goes.

Now, the dancers have turned the tables, so to speak. Fed up with the tactics of Dunfee and his flock, they say they have finally accepted his constant invitation to come to church.

It’s just that they’ve come wearing see-through shorts and toting Super Soakers.

They bring lawn chairs and – yesterday, anyway – grilled hamburgers, Monster energy drinks and corn on the cob.

They sat in front of the church and waved at passing cars but largely ignored the congregation behind them.

Likewise, the churchgoers largely ignored the dancers. Except for Stan Braxton. He stopped and held hands with Lola, a 42-year-old dancer who made $200 on her Saturday night shift, and prayed for her salvation.

Lola, who wouldn’t give her last name, said she was grateful for Braxton’s prayers and his time.

The women don’t come here, after all, without their own version of religion. They bring signs with Scriptures written in neon colors:

Matthew 7:15: Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing

Revelations 22:11: He that is unjust, let him be unjust still

Greg Flaig is executive director of the Ohio Owners Coalition, a group of showbar and club owners. He called the women’s protest extraordinary, saying he’s never heard of anything like it in the country.

George said the protest has been a long time coming. He sued the church in federal court several years ago, claiming a violation of his constitutional rights, but he lost. Now, he said, turnabout is fair play.

“When these morons go away, we’ll go away,” George said. “The great thing about this country is that everyone has a right to believe what they want.”

He said his club operates within the law. Dunfee said it does not, that it must close at midnight instead of its regular 2 or 3 a.m. Coshocton County Prosecutor Bob Batchelor said Friday only that he, the sheriff and the city prosecutor are “aware of the situation.”

Gina Hughes spent the morning soaking up the sun in her striped bikini, mostly oblivious to the fire and brimstone being preached in the tidy church building.

The 30-year-old married mother of six said she has danced at the Foxhole for a decade and holds the title of “house mom.” That means that even though she still dances, she also watches out for the six other women who work there.

She said she makes $2,000 a week.

“These church people say horrible things about us,” Hughes said. “They say we’re homewreckers and whores. The fact of the matter is, we’re working to keep our own homes together, to give our kids what they need.”

Dunfee said it’s not that simple. He said he consistently offers the women help, a chance at redemption.

“I tell them, ‘I will put a roof over your heads, and your bills will be paid, and your children’s bellies will be full,’” he said. Yet they don’t come inside.

The first few weeks, Dunfee piped the sermon outside. But that “agitated” them, he said, and made them dance in the streets.

He said their presence has united his church members and reinvigorated their mission to shut down the club.

“They have now seen the evil firsthand,” Dunfee said. “This has just made us stronger.”

George laughed at that notion.

“They’re just mad,” he said, “because their wives won’t let them come to my club.”

Story Number Two – Boobs and weenies flapping in the wind!  I think I’d have to sit in the front of this roller coaster so I wouldn’t get slapped by and flying appendages – eewww!

Naked rollercoaster ‘record broken’ in Essex

“The naked riders raised £22,000 for Southend Hospital’s breast care unit

A record for the number of people riding a rollercoaster naked has been set in Essex, organisers have claimed.

A total of 102 people met at Adventure Island in Southend to ride the Green Scream without clothes.

The rollercoaster ran three times to accommodate the bumper crowd of nudes, event organiser Tracy Jones said. More than £22,000 was raised for charity.

And the ONLY one I wouldn’t mind seeing myself – Enrique Iglesias!

Enrique Gets Naked for World Cup Bet — On Water Skis

From TMZ – “

“Enrique Iglesias is a man of his word — ’cause dude just got naked and busted out the water skis to satisfy a bet he made regarding the World Cup … and lucky for you … we got it all on tape!  (there’s a video at TMZ but it sucks you can’t a thing)

Sources close to Iglesias … and his situation … tell us Enrique did the naked run just a few days ago … “at the end of July” … telling us the singer wanted to do it because, “A bet is a bet.”

Enrique’s people wouldn’t officially confirm the skinny ski trip … but they did tell us, “We do not manage Enrique’s personal time schedule but we do know he was in Miami the last week of July.”

In a related note, Enrique had to keep his bare ass stunt top secret because — as we previously reported — local law enforcement had threatened to bust Enrique on public nudity charges if they caught him hangin’ 11 on their watch.”

There’s been young Brooke Sheilds.

I remember my uptight mom talking about the commercial with one of her bible study buddies. Because of this commercial my mom wouldn’t let me wear Calvin Kleins, so I guess their methods don’t always work. But they still keep coming – one crazier than the next.

and BANNED ADS Aplenty:

A racy Calvin Klein billboard ad depiciting a topless underage model engaged in a threesome with two and perhaps a third man has a Soho neighborhood outraged. The Calvin Klein label has a history of provocative ads. The latest campaign and a series of scandalous hypersexual ads has critics accusing the design label of making a desperate attempt to gain attention and seem relevant. Calvin Klein has also produced a series of banned commerials shot by famed photographer Steven Meisel depicting an orgy with three women and two men. See the NSFW banned Calvin Klein commercial video.“

One thing is sure, the controversy keeps the label in the news.  But, when is it going too far?  I was beginning to think that I had become totally desensitized to any risque media because of the overload that is shoved down our throats on a daily basis – but I was WRONG – this time old CK PEE has taken it too far even for me.  Old Pee Happy is running a new undie campaign for guys. You can see how men around the world mark their spot here.

Calvin Klein X Underwear is taking X to a whole new level using webcams to show how men around the world are marking their spot with X. The “X Marks the World” project lets users look into webcams of guys from Europe, Africa, North America, South America and Asia talking about how they mark their spot.”

CKs PR department constantly pushes the envelope and now I see why.  For years I’ve enjoyed their sexy ads.  I like looking at hot guys in their drawers.  But, I never really discussed it and I certainly wouldn’t consider writing a post about it.  But now the ad guys can check me off their list – they got me – creeped me out.  Made me talk about them, write about them.  Now I have these gross images of guys standing around peeing and instead of appreciating the beautiful men in all their tidy whitey goodness all I can see is them peeing.  GROSS.  I tell you what they had better run an ad campaign with my favorite guy – NAKED – to burn the images that are stuck in my head.

the Duke of Suffolk, Charles Brandon – from the Showtime series The Tudors his name is Henry Cavill – SOO HOT!!

The world has changed.  Sex is everywhere:

NEW YORK (Wireless Flash – FlashNews) – In a moment of passion, fumbling through your nightstand for a condom can really make the heat fizzle.But now, the Zurich-based Swiss AIDS Federation is offering to deliver condoms to eager lovers by bicycle, with a catchy slogan for their service: “We come before you come.”

A spokesman for the health agency tells AOL News, “The main purpose of this initiative is to create a buzz and help people remember safe sex rules and the need to carry condoms at all times, even in the most unforseen situations.”

The group apparently feels that when the petting gets hot and heavy, you might not run out to the store for a rubber, but you might make a call.

And their bikers will pedal like mad to deliver their package before that climactic moment passes you by.

The Swiss are eager to help lovers because according to the Federation, more than 25,000 people are HIV-positive in Switzerland.

The Penis – an ever protruding member of society.  The only body appendage that can claim a brain of it’s own.  Overprotected but often abused the Penis provides us with laughter,  pain and confusion.  Society has come so far in breaking the bonds of sexual suppression which ruled generations before us.  But not everyone is happy with the world this has created.  You will still find groups who refuse to promote the penis.  For example, one of my favorite websites, Etsy.

ALTON, Ill. (Wireless Flash – FlashNews) – Buying a handmade penis pendant or vagina-shaped pillow is not as easy as it used to be.Etsy.com – the online DIY shop where crafters can sell their handmade goods, no matter how kooky or naughty they may be – is currently under fire for its censorship of certain items.

Etsy shop owner Cappy Sue, who paints cartoonish versions of human genitalia and makes other adult crafts, says the once liberal website has been hiding her items and other artists’ risque work from certain searches – an act she likens to WWII-style “ghettoization.”

She explains, “It seems like they’re putting all the mature sellers in a ghetto. They filtered our listings so now people can’t see anything we post. It’s a huge censorship issue.”

Sue believes she and other offbeat sellers are in danger of losing

money and may even have to close down their online shops.

I have to say, sex was a little more exciting when it was taboo. Sex seemed naughty and fun. You didn’t see it or hear it every time you turned on the TV and radio. Now it’s about as common as a Republican without a brain. My twelve year old was talking to me about a friend of his at school who has already had sex. This is middle school. While I think kids in middle school should understand their bodies and know the dangers of unprotected sex I don’t think it’s fair that they are bombarded with sexual messages at every turn. It’s a conundrum – I love the freedom we experience to dress, speak and write in ways that were controlled in the past. But, has it gone too far?

This is not going to be an educated in-depth look at the US Healthcare industry, but more a rant, a bitchfest of someone caught in the midst of the outrageous cost of health insurance and the ridiculous prices of medical care topped off with the sad state of the economy.  It’s an endless circle of greed, incompetence and political malfunction, sprinkled with a dash of brains, invention and hard working Americans.

Our family has been hit pretty hard by the recession.  My husband has had to figure out how to replace a $10,000 a month income in a field that is getting harder and harder to find work.  For a little background; He worked for the Va Natural Gas Company for the past 10 years.  Their company sold out to Atlanta Natural Gas who then got rid of all employees in VA and sent that work to Atlanta or India (that’s a whole other rant since the Gas Company services, where?, not Atlanta, GA, but Virginia)  Anyway, we didn’t really worry he’s always had more work than he could manage anyway.  Boy were we in for a surprise.  It’s been a year now.  He’s found lots of odds and ends and a couple of good size contracts but nothing steady which is really scary when you have kids to take care of.

I have been paying health insurance for 25 years straight.  For 10 years I worked for the Government and was able to get great coverage for $12 every two weeks.  Now I realize why people keep a job JUST for the health insurance coverage.  Once I didn’t work for the Government anymore health insurance premiums cost us a ton more.  We started papying $700 a month about 10 years ago and it has steadily increased.  A couple months ago we had to stop paying our $1,000 a month health insurance bill – we just couldn’t do it.  We have paid this for YEARS and have never had any major health bills so the insurance company really made out.  A couple days ago I had to take my 5 year old in for a physical and PPD shot (checks for tuberculosis) – all kids have to have this before starting kindergarten.  I knew going in that I would be paying cash but I didn’t really think much of it and was expecting a to pay a couple hundred bucks.  She ended up having to get the physical, ppd and 3 other shots to catch her up on all her shots.  I go to check out and the bill comes to, $131 for the office visit and $365 for the shots – and that’s with 25% off.  Are you F**CKING KIDDING ME????!!!!!!!!!!!    $496.00 for a school physical and 4 shots – for a five year old!!!!  I sure hope none of us gets really sick.

Is it just me or this too much?

So, how many people get caught up in this?  Can’t afford the outrageous health insurance premiums can hardly afford the ridiculous cost of healthcare without insurance.  To make it worse you just KNOW this is because the insurance companies are one of the greediest, richest industries in the US.  They are known for their brutal treatment of policy holders and for the lavish lifestyles of the people who run the companies. (This is a bitchfest I’m not going to get into anything positive about health insurance in this post, go find that somewhere else)

It’s sad when you start joking with your husband that you are going to divorce him so you can go on medicaid in order to cover your kids healthcare.  It’s even harder worrying 24/7 that something is going to happen before we can start paying health insurance again.  I wonder how many people fall into this category.  They don’t make enough to pay health insurance premiums and they make to much to get any help from the Government.

You Just Never Know When or Where

Here is an interesting report comparing US Health Care with other major countries:

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: How the Performance of the U.S. Health Care System Compares Internationally, 2010 Update

Despite having the most costly health system in the world, the United States consistently underperforms on most dimensions of performance, relative to other countries. This report—an update to three earlier editions—includes data from seven countries and incorporates patients’ and physicians’ survey results on care experiences and ratings on dimensions of care. Compared with six other nations—Australia, Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom—the U.S. health care system ranks last or next-to-last on five dimensions of a high performance health system: quality, access, efficiency, equity, and healthy lives. Newly enacted health reform legislation in the U.S. will start to address these problems by extending coverage to those without and helping to close gaps in coverage—leading to improved disease management, care coordination, and better outcomes over time. (Read Full Report)

July 1, the day when new state laws take effect.  Lawmakers have the opportunity to make our communities safer, smarter, better places to live.  In this enlightened day and age you expect these brilliant minds to put together legislation that will help our states environment, budget and overall well-being.  Not in a million years would I expect to see this:

Few new laws got as much scrutiny or partisan wrangling as the guns-in-bars statute. It allows holders of concealed weapons permits to take their firearms into places where alcohol is served, provided the gun’s bearer doesn’t imbibe.

OR THIS

Wine and Liquor Tastings

ABC stores will now be able to offer wine and liquor tastings at their stores.

REALLY?!! Concealed weapons in bars and wine tasting in liquor stores. Just Brilliant! Now I know why we pay these politicians the big bucks. Who the hell is writing these laws anyway? Let’s get everyone drunk with free wine tasting, send them over to the local watering whole with their concealed weapon and let them hang around a bunch of stupid drunk college kids – that’s safe!

I know where all the bums will be hanging out.  Maybe with this new law I’ll be able to go to the store without being hit up for some cash.  They can just head over to the local ABC store for a delightful wine tasting.

That’s our money at work.

This could be a great idea and I hope it really helps protect the women in some of these countries were rape is so prevalent. Hopefully, just the thought of a woman having one of these condoms in there private parts will be enough to lower the the rape count in the extreme. I think they should dip the tips of the sharp attachments in some kind of acid so rapists dicks fall off, even if they get it surgically removed. They should start selling T-Shirts saying “This Va jay jay protected by Rape-Axe”.  Of course there are lots of critics siting the danger to women when a man is actually caught in one of these things and the false sense of security this may give.  But, when you realize what women already are doing to prevent rape this new condom seem like it may be a little safer.

Women take drastic measures to prevent rape in South Africa, Ehlers said. Some go so far as to insert razor blades wrapped in sponges in their private parts.“

New anti-rape female condom, Rape-axe, debuts at South Africa’s World Cup
A South African doctor has developed a new female condom that she hopes will combat rape in the most painful way possible.

Dr. Sonnet Ehlers has invented Rape-axe, a female device with jagged hooks that latch onto a man’s penis during penetration.

The doctor is distributing 30,000 of these condoms in South Africa during this year’s World Cup.

“It hurts,” Ehlers told CNN. “He cannot pee and walk when it’s on. If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter.”

South Africa has one of the highest rape rates in the world, according to Human Rights Watch. It is also believed that 16 percent of the population is living with HIV.

Rape-axe is inserted like a tampon and when embedded to a man the device can only be removed by a doctor.

Some have accused Ehler of creating nothing more than a new-age chastity belt.

“It not only presents the victim with a false sense of security, but psychological trauma,” said Victoria Kajja, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Uganda.

But Ehlers said that she had taken the proper research and development steps before launching the product.

“I consulted engineers, gynecologists and psychologists to help in the design and make sure it was safe,” she said.

Ehlers also pointed out how women take extreme measures such as placing razor blades in their nether regions to prevent rape in South Africa.

“I believe something’s got to be done,” she said. “This will make some men rethink before they assault a woman.”

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/06/20/2010-06-20_new_female_condom_with_teethlike_hooks_debuts_at_world_cup.html#ixzz0s1Da8T7O

Now that you had a little giggle it’s time to really understand BP and how this oil spill will affect the company and the people working for the company.  This in itself is enough to frustrate the most jaded and cynical among us, but, when you add to that what is happening to the environment and the livelihood of millions the negative effects are almost beyond comprehension.  I’m embarrassed to say that until recently I wasn’t aware of the magnitude of the overall devastation this will bring to so many, but the longer this has lasted and the more information that comes out I am finally realizing there are so many and so much that will be hurt by this completely preventable accident. How can we help?

Overview (from NY Times)

BP is a London-based oil giant that branded itself as “Beyond Petroleum,” an environmentally conscious energy company. But its image and its financial prospects have been decisively revised by the mammoth oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico caused by the April 2010 explosion of a drilling rig BP was leasing.

A leak in a pipe a mile deep has spewed out oil at the rate of what the company first said was 1,000 barrels a day and then 5,000 barrels a day from a site only 50 miles from the fragile Louisiana coast. The government’s current estimate of the spillage rate is up to 60,000 barrels a day.

The April 20 accident, which killed 11 workers, is the biggest oil spill in U.S. history, and the most costly. On June, BP said that its costs of responding to the spill had reached $2 billion. And regardless of the out-of-pocket costs, the long-term damage to the company’s reputation — and possibly, its future prospects for drilling in the Gulf of Mexico — is likely to be far higher, according to industry analysts.

BP is the third largest oil company in the world, after ExxonMobil and Royal Dutch Shell, with 80,000 employees worldwide as of December 2009, sales of $239 billion in 2009 and a market value – even after the recent losses – of more than $100 billion.

BP’s shares have lost almost half of their value since the leak began, and some analysts say the crisis could lead to a takeover or even bankruptcy of one of Britain’s most valuable and iconic companies. BP is a favorite of pension funds in Britain, and the stream of condemnations from Washington has stirred a protective backlash.

Shareholders were dealt another blow on June 16 when BP announced that it would suspend paying dividends for the rest of the year and establish a $20 billion fund to pay claims arising from the spill. While BP’s share price stabilized after that news, the developments did little to ease the anxiety of investors.

Perhaps the most threatening development for BP was the June 1 announcement by Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. that the Justice Department had begun investigations into possible criminal or civil charges related to the spill.

Tony Hayward, BP’s chief executive for the last three years, has insisted that his giant will weather this storm. BP is indeed a money machine: it turned a profit of nearly $17 billion in 2009. The accident, however, threatens to undermine all the efforts Mr. Hayward has made to burnish the tattered reputation of the company he took over.

On June 18, two days after Mr. Hayward angered lawmakers on Capitol Hill with his refusal to provide details during testimony about the spill, BP’s chairman, Carl-Henric Svanberg, said Mr. Hayward would not be as involved in daily operations in the Gulf of Mexico.

The following day, BP officials scrambled yet again to respond to another public relations challenge when Mr. Hayward spent the day off the coast of England watching his yacht compete in one of the world’s largest races.

Pressure Continues

In his Oval Office speech on June 15, President Obama told Americans that he planned to tell Mr. Svanberg “that he is to set aside whatever resources are required to compensate the workers and business owners who have been harmed as a result of his company’s recklessness.”

The following day, BP executives went to the White House and agreed to set up the $20 bilion fund to pay damage claims. Mr. Obama completed the deal in a private session with Mr. Svanberg, who set off an uproar when he told reporters that BP “cares about the small people.”

The escrow fund will be independently run by Kenneth Feinberg, the mediator who oversaw the 9/11 victims compensation fund.

Mr. Hayward and other BP executives have faced harsh questioning from Congress, and oil company executives speaking at a Congressional hearing publicly blamed BP for mishandling the well that caused the disaster.

The leaders of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce have cited five areas in which the company made decisions that “increased the danger of a catastrophic well,” including the choice for the design of the well, preparations for and tests of the cement job and assurances that the well was properly sealed on the top.

The committee leaders said that shortly before the blowout, BP engineers chose a faster, less expensive design for the final string of casing, which is the steel pipe lining the well. The design chosen, which used a so-called tapered string, cost about $7 million to $10 million less than another method. But the tapered string afforded less protection if the cementing job was poor and gas rose up the well, the congressmen wrote.

Representative Edward J. Markey, the chairman of the House Energy and Environment Subcommittee, released an internal BP document on June 20 showing that the company’s own analysis of damage to the well bore resulted in a worst-case estimate of 100,000 barrels of oil leaking into the Gulf of Mexico each day. Mr. Markey said the document provided a sharp contrast to BP’s initial claim that the leak was just 1,000 barrels a day.

Blame and Lawsuits

Mr. Hayward has blamed the rig’s owner and operator, Transocean, for the accident and the failure of the blowout preventer, a valve supposedly able to cut off the flow of oil. But he has said BP took responsibility for dealing with the immediate problem.

BP has said that drilling and operating relief wells to plug the runaway well might cost as much as $300 million, but those same wells will eventually be used to produce profitable oil.

After many failed efforts to staunch the oil flow, BP is collecting crude oil with two containment systems that the company hopes will help stem the thousands of barrels escaping from their damaged well.

Lawyers have already filed a flurry of lawsuits on behalf of commercial fishermen, shrimpers and injured workers against BP; Transocean; Cameron, the company that manufactured the blowout preventer; and other companies involved in the drilling process. Cleanup costs will be divided among BP, which has a 65 percent ownership of the field, and minority partners Anadarko and Mitsui.

As BP watches its bill rise quickly for the oil spill, including the fund it is setting aside for claims, it could find the tally growing much faster if the United States Department of Justice files criminal charges against the company.

Based on the latest estimates, for example, the daily civil fine for the escaping oil alone could be $280 million. But criminal penalties, if imposed, could cause the costs to balloon still further.

Beyond the financial costs, the multinational oil giant is facing a growing number of risks that could jeopardize its future. The company is almost certain to face tougher scrutiny from regulators. Opportunities to drill wells may be limited as governments and partners shy away from BP’s damaged reputation.

At the extreme, revenue could be sharply curtailed if the federal government found that the accident was caused by gross negligence and tried to revoke BP’s right to operate in the United States, which accounts for one-third of the company’s business.

BP’s History

Under Mr. Hayward’s predecessor, John Browne, BP chose the new motto of “Beyond Petroleum,” and an insignia of a blooming flower, an image meant to portray the company as one that was responsive to growing public concerns about climate change.

But BP, the nation’s biggest oil and gas producer, has a worse health, environment and safety record than many other major oil companies, according to RiskMetrics, a consulting group that assigns scores to companies based on their performance in various categories, including safety.

A 2005 explosion at a refinery in Texas City, Tex., killed 15 workers and injured hundreds more. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration fined BP a record $87 million for neglecting to correct safety violations.

Only a year later, a leaky BP oil pipeline in Alaska forced the shutdown of one of the nation’s biggest oil fields. BP was fined $20 million in criminal penalties after prosecutors said the company had neglected corroding pipelines. Soon after the incident, Mr. Browne quit amid tabloid headlines about his private life.

Mr. Hayward, a geologist who had been in charge of exploration and production, took over and promised to refocus the company and change the culture, emphasizing safety.

Mr. Hayward has expanded the company’s already aggressive exploratory efforts in the deep waters of the gulf. In 2009, the same platform that has now sunk to the sea floor drilled the deepest well in history, opening one of the largest new fields in the world.

Despite the accident, BP says it remains committed to its gulf drilling program, which contributes 11 percent of the company’s worldwide production.

The faltering cleanup effort came at a time when the company’s business was otherwise going well. Continuing the excellent performance of recent years, BP in April 2010 announced earnings of $5.6 billion for the first quarter, more than double the profit during the same quarter in 2009.  (Read More)

I’m depressed, in a humor funk.  I haven’t laughed uproarously in ages.  I’m in my early 40s – 29 for the 14th time to my kids. I was lucky enough to grow up in the era of Dan Akroyd, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murry, Gilda Radner, Gene Wilder and other comedic greats.  I remember forcing myself to stay awake long enough to sneak downstairs and watch Saturday Night Live and if I was able to catch Eddie Murphy doing a Mr Robinsons neighborhood I was in hysterical laugh heaven for a week.

These guys were able to take the lamest concepts and leave you rolling on the floor gasping for breath.  Do you remember “Deep Thoughts” ?

So I have to wonder why. Why isn’t anything funny anymore. Sure I’ll laugh when my kid runs into the wall or when my husband rips one while he’s praying – but, when someone who gets paid to make me laugh gives their best effort only to leave me shaking my head in sadness and despair I have to wonder is it me? Am I too cynical and jaded? Am I now relegated to laugh only over disaster and disgusting bodily functions?  Shoot, the people who used to crack me up are lame these days.  Eddie Murphy, doing the donkey on Shrek is the funniest he’s been in 20 years

Your mission – Make me laugh – I implore you!!