In two weeks my vacation begins. Kids go back to school on Sept 7th. Hopefully I will then slowly recuperate from this idiocy disease which has stolen my mind and ability to function (of course I’m gonna blame the kids otherwise I’d have to actually admit that it was me and isn’t that the whole [...]
Ok girls, and you know who you are, there’s been a rash of peeing goin on. Are you suffering from a case of blogger bladder? Every other story I’ve read lately is so gosh darn funny it’s got bloggers weeing in their bloomers. Now, either the blogosphere is full of middle age incontinent babes or we need to look into some post reading protection. May I suggest:
After numerous minutes spent researching this online tinkle phenomenon I have put together a list of proper peecabulary to help you appropriately express your level of excitement.
1. Peed My Pants Off – Combination of “I nearly peed my pants” and “I laughed my ass off”
Expression is typically accidentally spewed after relating a funny or embarrasing story while inebriated or during blonde moments.
“I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants off”
2. ipmp – I peed my pants. OMG, {some hilarious joke} IPMP
3. pmp – pmp: Peed my pants – more than “lol” How do you punish Helen Keller? ..Give her a basketball and tel her to read it.
4. pmpo – Peed My Pants Off – PMPO should be used in all text correspondence to relentlessly tease someone who has recently accidentally meshed “laughed my ass off” with “nearly peed my pants”, creating the puzzling yet almost familiar-sounding expression “peed my pants off” (Text: “Did you see the Bon Qui Qui at King Burger video on youtube?” Reply: “Yes – PMPO”)
5. jpmpwgtm – Acronym for the common phrase “just peed my pants while grinning to myself.” It is usually used when an individual has literally peed his or her pants after being told a funny joke. Notice it is not laughing and peeing but grinning and peeing. The word is used mainly by people who have mangled vocal cords and also those who generally hate laughter.
Tardy: “Guess what?”
Farty: “What?”
Tardy: “Chicken butt!”
Farty: “JPMPWGTM!!!! THAT’S WUZ SOOOOO FUNNY!!!!! I ACTUALLY CRAPPED MY PANTS TOO HAHAH!”
6. Peeing myself – For a certain cause such as laughing, fear, or waiting to long you pee without warning into your pants making a visible stain where your pee was running depending on what your wearing.
i had a friend over, he was playing a one-player game. i stood behind him, and i just started peeing. “oh my god, i just peed my pants” i said. my friend didn’t belive me so i showed my jeans. i like peeing myself
7. piddidle – Laughing so hard that you peed your pants. Oh snap! You just made me piddidle my pants! I just piddidled my pants!!
8. IPMPAL – I Peed my pants a little – LOL so much I PMPAL
9. p.i.m.p – peed in my pants
(similar to the familiar j.i.m.p–jizzed in my pants)
Girl 1: Hey didn’t you say you had to go to the bathroom?
Girl 2; Uhhh its a little late…i already p.i.m.p
Girl 1: UM EW!!!
10. Urination Proclamation – When you laugh so hard that you pee your pants, and then mention it to your friends.
Marty: Hahahahahaha. I just peed my pants. John: Ew. Dont give me a urination proclamation.
11. peecrastination – When you have to pee, but you keep putting it off. Peecrastination leads to that “Ahhh-why-did-I-wait-so-long feeling when you finally go.
12. LSHIPMP – Laughing So Hard I Peed My Pants – OMG THAT JOKE HAD ME LSHIPMP
13. Drop a quarter – 1. To urinate in your pants 2. An alternative to phrases such as; ‘pissed myself’ or ‘peed my pants’
“Dude! When Julie tripped a Foot Locker, I was about to drop a quarter!”
14. Motzarting -Screaming while peeing in a public urinal as to make others frightened. I went to the bathroom and there was this old man mozarting. I got so afraid that peed my pants while running out. All was well that ended well.
15. JPIMPL -abbr.–Just Peed In My Pants Laughing. “that’s so funny, JPIMPL” or just “JPIMPL”
16. loltipmp – The not so short but still true: Laugh Out Loud Til I Peed My Pants. This phrase is missed used too often and incorrectly. Seriously how often does an adult laugh hard enough for this to happen, excluding my ex wife when some one I know now meets her and tells her what a great guy I are? Come-on counts the times scroll the pictures thru your mind. Never, never, never. Aussie slang version: loltipm Laugh Out Loud Til I Pissed Meself
(girl) yeah! im LSHIAPMP
18. rotflmaoshtipm – abbreviation, rolling on the floor laughing my a* off so hard that i peed my pants a little bit.
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Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
I’m totally peecrastinating right now!
Will leave you a little suppin supping on my blog for being so helpful!
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
Oh lord, I’ll have to print this out and tote it around with me!
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
OMG I dropped a quarter!
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
Maybe we should have to sign a waiver that we are wearing Depends before we read certain blogs! We must be prepared to pee!
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
Hi There….Im going to get mine on now…!! LMAO and peecrastinating…Lolol…shouldnt doing both of these together make us loose weight…..? i will be posting some of my obnoxious behavior but for now I must play it kool..I think Im being infiltrated…long story…but I …Will,.. be putting out, so beware…thanks for visiting..I love it here..ill be back..!
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
Wow, that’s a lot of pee. Before today I would have read “I peed my pants off” and not even realized I was reading a new mash-up cuz it’s sounds normal. But it isn’t really, is it? Still, peeing your pants off sounds better than crapping your pants off. That’s just gross.
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
Not sure why, buy I’m grateful you were directing this blog post to the fairer sex. Us male-types don’t need to worry about such things. Excuse me I was laughing so hard I need to go light a candle (or burn a match).
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
The Queen – Thanks – I haven’t been toasted in years – feels great!!
Buggys – Just stick it in your purse, right there with your portable depends.
Katie – OMG!
Collette – Maybe we can start a peetition.
Robin – Can wait to hear the obnoxious behavior . . .I’ll be waiting.
Margaret – I was just getting these horrible visuals of lots and lot of woman bloggers all sitting in puddles of pee –
Tarheel Rambler – Ha – Ha! Don’t you tarheels just pee anywhere?
Apr 7, 2010 | Reply
I think I just piddidled [a little] while reading this!
Apr 8, 2010 | Reply
found your blog through Queen of WTF! funny stuff. I don’t know which definition I like the best. I’m going to use that Helen keller joke though
Apr 8, 2010 | Reply
So very true. But the Urinathers are also is good for coughing, sneezing, jumping. Actually, hell I’ll just get it just in case I yawn.
Love the post. Gotta use some of that peecabulary.
LSHIAPMP Gotta Take a Quick Run
Apr 8, 2010 | Reply
What was that OMG one!? #7 fits nicely here. Thank you so much for the laughs…I really need to invest in Depends now!! Awesome stuff…love the Helen Keller joke too, wrong, but oh so funny in the visuals! Still pmpo!
Apr 8, 2010 | Reply
BTW, I so seriously wish you had a follow me thingy, I just can’t remember to go to my bookmarks…yes, middle age is a bitch! LOLOL
Apr 8, 2010 | Reply
meleah reneccah – “piddidled” say it 5 times real fast
Jamie/Powedered Toast Man – the only thing is there are too many – I need to print them out on a 5 x 7 and hang it on the wall
Anne Marie Busch – Sounds like a good idea
Linda – Thanks for visiting – in the sidebar you sign up for RSS or add your email to get notices of new blog posts
Apr 8, 2010 | Reply
Oh Jen and I LOVE to talk about peeing in our pants!!!! I will never forget jumping on the trampoline someone gave my kids for the first time and peeing. THAT was the moment I realized I was old.
Apr 9, 2010 | Reply
Its too difficult to say THAT five times fast! Ahahahahha
Apr 9, 2010 | Reply
I’ve been peeing my pants off for a long time, I had no idea I was doing it wrong.
I peecrastinate too. Or I just drink too much Diet Coke. Either way it seems I always have to pee.
Apr 9, 2010 | Reply
Jen – I should have dedicated this post to you.
Apr 9, 2010 | Reply
You are truly demented… I like that in a person!
Now I have to go pee because I don’t want to be a peecrastinator. I may have to steal that term for a T-shirt. I just love it.
LMAOPIMP!
Apr 9, 2010 | Reply
Wow – I’ve never even HEARD of most of those. But it made me think of the Poise commercial I wrote about here. http://www.motherhood-unscripted.com/?p=2668
Apr 9, 2010 | Reply
Christy – I had NOT seen that commercial before, just WHY??!
Jayne – Thanks – I think I like being called demented.
Apr 11, 2010 | Reply
Hi Sheila..You are so funny…come join my new blog Laugh Out Loud @http://livingwithlaughter.com and pick one of your favorite posts, past or present, email it to me and I will feature it on the blog calendar…it will be fun…build your blog, give you some advertisement and you’ll be sharing with some of the funniest bloggers…
Apr 11, 2010 | Reply
Well! This was quite the education. Unfortunately, I didn’t need any education… I’ve had four kids, and… well, you know….
Apr 11, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for the follow! Is there a way to follow you on this site? Saw your a SITSta too!