Slightly Sarcastic

I was abused as a child.   I wasn’t allowed to eat sugared cereal, date until I was 16 and brace yourself I was only allowed to watch two shows on TV – The Waltons and Little House on The Prairie.  My parents were strict Irish Catholics with a plan – say no to anything your kids want.  I’m going to blame everything on them because, hey my problems can’t possibly be my fault, right?  Because my parents said no to everything, I rebelled, big time.  My mom likes to tell me I was sweet until I  turned 12.   You know that curse your mom puts on you when you’re a pain in the ass kid, “When you grow up I hope you have one just like you”?  Well, it’s happened.  But I didn’t just get one – but three evil little spawn and now I know that my mom wasn’t just strict she was insane – she had 6.  Well, these sweet little angels (dripping sarcasm if you can’t tell)  have taken over where my mom left off – with the abuse, that is.  These brilliantly manipulative little ankle biters have realized the source of my weakness and taken control.  They have figured out that because my parents had the nerve to say no to me, it is extremely difficult for me to say no to them (it doesn’t make sense to me either).  So I decided to regain control from these little terrorists, but every time I open my mouth and start fussing at them I hear my mothers voice – must be part of the curse.  Is it too late?  I’ve given them new limits on their computers, TVs and game systems, drawn up a chore chart and beat them every morning  just in case.  I’ve got to find a balance.  I don’t want them to be overindulged spoiled brats who want everything handed to them – but I also don’t want them growing up thinking that the only way to get anything is to sneak around and do it behind my back.

All I know is that kids can turn sane, brilliant adults into irrational, psychotic lunatics and I have proof.  Check this out:

DANGER:  Having kids can turn you into a MORON!

From The Huffington Post

The 9 Most Ridiculous Reasons Kids Have Been Arrested

Kids act out. They throw tantrums, have food fights, and occasionally, they open their Christmas presents a little early. Usually this type of behavior is met with a stern word from parents, detention, or even some Bart Simpson-esque chalkboard writing. But this was not the case for these kids, who were handcuffed and hauled away before they could say “It wasn’t me.” Check out the hardcore punishments incurred when kids drop cake on the floor, doodle on a desk, and yes, pass gas.

1 – 12 Year-Old Arrested For Opening Christmas Present Early  – A 12-year-old South Carolina boy was arrested after his mother phoned police to say he had opened one of his Christmas presents early. Police arrived and actually charged the boy with petty larceny for opening an $85 Game Boy against his family’s wishes. What a Christmas! We’re wondering if he at least got to keep the game boy?

2 -12-Year-Old Arrested For Doodling On Desk  – 12-year-old Queens resident Alexa Gonzalez was taken away in handcuffs after writing “Lex was here. 2/1/10″ and “I love my friends Abby and Faith” on her desk. The best part: She used an erasable marker. Even better: she also drew a smiley face.

3 – 15-Year-Olds Threatened With Charges For Semi-Nude Self-Portraits – Marissa Miller of Pennsylvania was shocked when investigators said she might be facing child pornography charges after a “provocative” photo of her and a friend (from the waist-up, wearing bras) was found on someone else’s cell phone. The girls were forced to take a 10-hour class about pornography or be faced with charges of sexual abuse of a minor (themselves?), which would include registering as sex offenders.

4 -  13-Year-Old Arrested For Farting -A 13 year old boy was arrested in Florida after passing gas in the classroom and turning off his classmate’s computers. He was charged with “Disruption of school function.” Haven’t these people ever heard of detention?

5 -  Chicago Middle Schoolers Arrested For Food Fight- Dozens of 11 to 15-year-olds were arrested in Chicago because of a food fight that broke out in the school cafeteria. Reports say “Someone tossed a piece of food, someone else threw an orange, someone yelled ‘Food fight!,’ and chaos ensued.” The students were held at the police station for over 5 hours before parents were notified. What we want to know is if 5 hours was long enough for the police to get the initial food-thrower to break.

6  – 10-Year-Old Arrested For Bringing Steak, Steak Knife To School – A  10-year-old Florida girl was arrested for bringing a steak knife to school. The girl used the knife to cut a steak that she had brought for lunch and did not use it in any other way, nor did she show it off. The principal suspended her for 10 days and she faces a felony charge for possession of a weapon on school property. If she had known better she would have just torn the steak apart with her hands and teeth, but we guess she had to be “cool.”

7  – 14-Year-Old Arrested For Texting In Class – Math class can be boring, so a 14-year-old Wisconsin girl thought she’d pass the time by texting. When asked to stop, she continued until security officers came and arrested her under the charge of disorderly conduct. The best part? When officers asked for the phone they had pleasure of removing it from her “buttocks area.”

8  – Autistic Girl Arrested For Wearing Cow Costume – This 8-year-old girl with Asperger’s Syndrome was arrested for battery after being told she couldn’t wear her cow-themed sweatshirt to an elementary school holiday party. She fought back teachers who forcefully restrained her and was taken away in handcuffs, asking “What are batteries?”

9  – Girl Arrested For Dropping Cake On Floor- As if they had never seen a cafeteria line before, California school security guards restrained and arrested a 16-year-old girl after she dropped a piece of cake on the floor while in line at the cafeteria. Apparently she refused to clean it up so naturally, they broke her arm. We’d hate to see what these guards would do in a food fight.

Read more from the Huffington Post

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