Slightly Sarcastic

It must be hard for inventors these days. I mean how do you follow up electricity, computers or reality TV? It must have been really easy to invent something cool back when there was nothing, right? Now that so many brilliant minds have been inventing for thousands of years the wells got to be running a little dry. These days it seems like inventions fall into a few different categories – 1) Innovative but really annoying (think automated phone answering systems), 2) so stupid people HAVE to have it (snuggie) and 3) Product that sound so wonderful but don’t do what they say (smooth away).

Here’s a few examples:

1. Some mad scientist has come up with a poo plan.  This really has potential – I just can’t figure out how they are going to get people to take their dogs in for a DNA swab.  I mean, come on, if you don’t pick up your mutts poo and you know they’re  going to start testing doo-doo DNA ya aint gonna get your dogs DNA in the system.  Their incentive?  Randomly test poop and send out coupons or toys to the owner of the poop if they are in the system.  I’d be so happy if they forced everyone to have their dogs DNA tested so they could nab anyone who doesn’t pick up their shit.  I’ve written about this before -  these non poo picker uppers need to be thrown in jail FOR LIFE!  The people who should have to do the actual poo-pickin would be nasty bloggers who like to complain about other bloggers. (looks like I might have to do some doo-duty)

An Israeli city is hoping to combat dog poo – along with pet owners who leave it littering footpaths – with the help of DNA.

Tika Bar-On, the city’s chief veterinarian, came up with the plan and said so far, dog owners had reacted positively to the initiative.

Residents of the city of Petah Tikva, a suburb of Tel Aviv, have been asked to take their pooch to their local vet, where a DNA sample can be collected.

The city hopes to build a database so feces can be matched to registered dogs and their masters.

Owners who scoop up their dog’s poo and put it in specially marked bins on Petah Tikva’s streets will be eligible for rewards – like pet food coupons and dog toys.

But owners who leave their pet’s droppings on footpaths could face a fine.

If the voluntary programme takes off, the city will consider making it mandatory for owners to provide DNA samples from their dogs. Read More About Doo Doo DNA

2. Next we come to the freaking UGLIEST shoe I have ever seen in my life.  It’s supposed to solve back and leg issues but if I were born without legs and someone told me I could wear these shoes and walk again I wouldn’t they are so UGLY!  If you own these SORRY!  Maybe you could wear them with really, really long pants, in the middle of the night in the desert.

3. Here’s one that makes me nuts.  You buy a beauty product and really look forward to using it.  The name sounds so lovely – Waterlily and Fresh Mint Body Wash by Dove.  You trust the company that makes it and have used their products before.  But, be warned.  If you think you can jump into a nice hot shower and scrub up with this wonderful,  refreshing soap – you could be in for some pain – unless you’re one of those people that don’t wash their whole bodies when they shower.  DO NOT – I REPEAT – DO NOT put this body wash anywhere near your girl parts – talk about a fire crotch!!   Don’t they test these products or are we the guinea pigs?  Imagine that – a soap you can’t use on your dirtiest parts.  LOVELY!

4.  Here are a few I love:

The Ex-Knife Holder (anyone who’s been there needs one of these – how therapeutic) – I’d have to buy these in bulk since I’ve got a couple exes.

And finally, my favorite – if I had this I would carry it with me everywhere – Grocery shopping, I’d hang it out the window while I was driving – I’d give it to my kids by mistake to take to school with them (just for fun) and I’d take pictures of me with it and send it to a few unhappy morons who post stupid articles rehashing  comments from over a year ago.

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