Slightly Sarcastic

Get her books on the subject. There are tons of them on the market geared for each age and each reading level. The minute they are in contact with other kids, this begins. And wait, it only gets worse, I hate to tell you. Building up your child and helping them diffuse the comments will be your only recourse. If it continues, follow up with the school. EVERY school has an anti-bullying policy and it should NOT be tolerated. Be prepared for idiot parents and even worse school teachers and administrators. Ugh. Good luck. Been there–still dealing with it after all these years.

Oh, I’m so sorry and I know exactly what you are feeling right now. There is nothing so painful as what you feel when your kids have been hurt. Remember that you are likely far more hurt by this than your child will be. She will let it go very soon. I think you told her just the right thing and I agree with Lin, id this continues then you need to make the teacher/school aware of it.
If they told us these things, we would probably choose to never have children, it’s too painful! Good luck.

Lin and Buggys – Thanks so much for the thoughtful comments. The schools do have an anti-bullying policy and this school has a great guidance counselor who I think I may bring into the picture. I just don’t want to make a big issue out of the whole “fat” thing because then I think she might think it’s a bigger deal than she would otherwise (if that makes any sense) Lin – great idea about the books – she LOVES to read, I’m heading over to amazon right now to find something.

Sheila

I am sorry the little name calling brat made your daughter feel bad. I would have been at that school the very next day..in the class, with the teacher. I would have demanded a conference with the brats parents, the teacher and principal. We don’t send our children to school so that they can be ridiculed and bullied. Geez, she is only in Pre K for crying out loud. Your daughter is indeed beautiful.

I remember going to school in the 1960s and being a pariah from kindergarden on because I was about as unathletic as they come. I couldn’t even bounce one of those huge balls all the way across a circle of kids to the other side. On top of being the kid getting picked last for every team, I also had a passion for snakes and lizards, which made me a pariah amongst other little girls. My nickname all through elementary school was “Snake,” and it was not meant fondly. So no, this is nothing new. Yes, it starts that young and it always has.

The worst part of my childhood was that on top of being wildly unpopular and moody, I got the distinct feeling that my mother thought I was weird too. It’s so important for parents to be supportive of their children, no matter what or who they are or choose to be. I know because I didn’t get that, and it took me many long years as an adult to learn to feel okay about myself.

(Incidentally, about the unathletic part… I now run an exercise DVD website and am probably fitter than most of the now-middle-aged kids I grew up with! And I found out in junior high school I had a natural flair for dance. Maybe all this would have come out much earlier if my family had been more accepting of me! Just sayin’. Oh, and I still like reptiles, although I prefer owning cats these days.)

Thanks Janiss – I have recently signed my daughter up for a group called the Hurrah Players, they are the local acting company. She loves dancing and singing and is really outgoing (not shy) – I feeel like I have to make her strong in herself and sure of what she is capable of.

Drama and acting together with sports and art are excellent ways in helping kids overcome bullying or come to terms with it. Your daughter is gorgeous!

My friend’s daughter was going through a lanky, awkward stage nd my friend got her one of those photo shoots where they dressed her up and took lovely photos. Not only did that sort of presents for all of the grandparents for Xmas, but my frined posted the photos on Facebook and we all commented on how stunning her daughter is (and I think she is *really* something, just like your daughter is). That helped to build up her confidence somewhat so I just thought I’d mention it here.

I’m actually working on a post about this very subject, and I have graphics!

Have you seen the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”? The first few minutes are priceless and eye opening.

My son who is 16 has been the target of a girl at his school lately. I don’t know why but she keeps egging his car (which is really my car). When it was above freezing I didn’t care all that much, I made him clean it up and let him handle it. I wasn’t going to call parents or cops since kids do stupid things. But, over the weekend, this person egged my truck again. And it was -10 degrees outside so I have frozen egg on my truck. I’m pissed off to say the least. I spent the better part of the weekend fantasizing how I might torture this young woman. Forget calling her parents or the cops, she’s gonna have to deal with me, Redhead Ranting, and nobody wants that. I never did anything, hell, I haven’t even bothered to post about it because of the 6 year old girl who is calling my 6yr old daughter names by making fun of her middle name which happens to be Rose. What is there to make fun of there? I haven’t had to consider the fat issue yet but already my daughter is worried about her appearance.

You might have noticed that I don’t have a solution. Sorry. But I’ll probably have a cell next to yours.

I’m so sorry this happened to your sweet little munchkin. That other child obviously doesn’t like themselves and is just taking it out on your daughter. Kids can be so mean. My best suggestion is to tell your daughter to stay away from this child when possible. You may want to mention it as well to the teacher. I would think she would want to know and maybe have a little talk with the class about respect. My daughter had/has a speech issue and kids picked on her a few times. I talked to the teacher and she took care of it. Children deserve respect and the teacher should be managing her class with that in mind. If she’s useless go over her head to the principal. It’s simply unacceptable for a child at that age to feel bad about themselves for a minute. I would avoid the parent. This is from past experiences. Some parents just don’t see a problem and don’t want to admit that their child isn’t perfect. Oh and most importantly keep telling your daughter how wonderful and beautiful she is. I know you already are. You sound like a great mom.
Best wishes and keep us updated.

My sister is young and has gone through this since she was in 1st grade. We tell her just to go to school the next day and act like yesterday did not happen. and if the kid says something again you just agree with them and be super nice because it does work. most bully kids are products of bully parents and all they want is a reaction if you don’t give them a reaction they get annoyed and walk away. but you have to keep up on telling her she is awesome and super cute and better than bullies. you never want her to fall for what the kids say to her and start believing it because any kid is better than a bully.

Unfortunately, it is part of childhood. It sucks donkey’s balls, but we all get it. My friend’s little girl got her hair chopped off at school by some jealous douchebag five-year-old.

Some say it’s all part of character building – but what kind of character are we building?

Onward…by best to you and your sweet little munchkin.

(p.s. if she can kick ass on Wii maybe she could try it out on the name-caller….)

I was picked on in kindergarten. This was in.. 1994-95? Some girl kept saying “Amanda beautiful, Jessie dork” (names changed, of course), and got a group of other kids to say it. She was such a snob and was until we graduated! I was even spanked by my teacher once for accidently flinging a couple drops of paint on another kid. I don’t think this stuff is “new.” That’s just my opinion, though.

I know she could kick their butt (she’s hot to big brothers she beats up daily) and as much as it would feel so good to do it – I’d rather teach her to slay them with words – a gift that will last her a lifetime. You are right about “what kind of character are we building?” Face it name calling doesn’t build character it scars you for life.

Thanks for your thoughts – you are absolutely right – They have to be learning this behavior somewhere, most likely from their parents. Maybe we should come up with a punishment for the parents?

Kids are SOOOO mean!!

Kids are so cruel. What a lousy thing for your daughter. She’s so pretty! And such lovely, creamy skin, wow.

I think you’re doing GREAT by encouraging her and giving her support and love. If you were to report this to the Anti-Bully brigade in school, however, it may make things worse for her– it could create this incident into a larger storm. If it was my kid, I’d fluff it off and build her character by helping her to withstand criticism. Your support is everything!!