Slightly Sarcastic

Last week when I was driving my evil spawn to school and cursing out the morons all around me – I had a light bulb moment.  I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if I set up a webcam in my car and started a site just for car webcams?  I don’t know about anyone else, but I turn into a freakin psycho, raving lunatic, flaming bitch, etc. etc.  I’d have a lot of fun watching other sweet innocent mommies letting loose while stuck in traffic listening to their crazy kids screaming at each other over who is dumber spongebob or dora.  There was a time when I tried to watch my language in front of the kids – and it works – EXCEPT when I’m driving behind an idiot.  Like I tell my kids – these rules apply  1.  Do what I say not what I do  2. What happens in the car, stays in the car and  C.  The next time someone cuts you in line and you get in trouble for a potty mouth don’t blame me!

Speaking of potty mouth, I wish I was British.  They have the coolest slang.  I was watching Nick with the kids the other night and I keep seeing ads for a show called “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging”  I love that word – Snogging – (Definition -foreplay without contact with the genital organs)  and hobknocker (which I heard on iCarly means; when a guy hits you in the face with his penis.)   SHIT! What is Nick teaching my kids anyway?   Anyway, the British can call you names and make it sound lovely!

I guess I never really thought about slang in America, it just sounds rude when we say it.  “Yo dog, wuzzzzzzzz up?”  Do you know they have books to help people understand American slang – I didn’t but when I was researching British slang I came across this book:  (I Love it!)

Product Description

America swears by it!

In the English language, swearing is essential to effective communication.
Whether you want to succeed in business, school, or social circles, a
strong command of vocabulary is absolutely necessary. Just imagine a
stranger to our shores, trying to comprehend the following conversation:

John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?
Mary: F*cking-A. should I wear my black dress?
John: Why the f*ck not?
Mary: F*cked if I know-Oh, f*ck! I just remembered. It got f*cked up in the
wash.
John: Well, f*ck the opera. Let’s stay home and f*ck.
Mary: Good f*cking idea.

English as a Second F*cking Language (ESF*L) is the perfect way for
nonnative speakers to learn the basics of swearing. At the same time, it
also offers native speakers a wide variety of twists and new refinements.
Page after page, ESF*L provides a smorgasbord of swearing synonyms
designed to boost your vocabulary-everything from the conventional d*mn
and sh*t to a host of more inventive terms that would make any truck driver
blush. And when you’re finished reading, our Final F*cking Exam is the
perfect test of your swearing skills. You’ll be surprised by how much you’ve
learned!

I don’t know where I picked up such naughty language – I wish I could blame it on my parents, but I never heard them say anything worse than “For Petes Sake” or “For Cryin Out Loud” .    The first time I heard my dad say a curse word I was 18 and was at work with him one day.  I was sitting outside his office and heard him say shit and almost fell over – that was the day my whole world changed (ok maybe a little dramatic, but come on – my dad curses?!)  If I had to blame it on someone or something it would have to be the United States Navy – I worked for them in the Civil Service for 10 years and they welcome you in the morning with a hardy “Good Fucking morning to you – how the hell was your evening – we’ve got a shitload of work so you better drink some damn coffee to get you going.”  I take no responsibilty I was brainwashed.

In reality I think this must be another case of a desensitized public.  I can’t even imagine hearing the Ingalls or the Waltons cursing at each other but if you turn on just about any show on primetime tv out come the potty mouths – do they block any words anymore?

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