Slightly Sarcastic

First of all let me say YAY!!!!!!!!!!!YAY!!YAY!!YAY!!YAY!!  Finally, after 12 years of having a kids attached to my hip all the little rugrats are in school.  WOO – HOO!!!!!  So, at this extremely exhilirating and freeing moment in my life I SHOULD be enjoying every single moment of my wonderful life – BUT – something always has to go wrong.  First, the nurse at my daughters school calls on the first day about 2 hours after class started.  Nurse:  “Laila has bites all over her arms and legs we need to know what going on”  ME:  “She plays outside every night and gets chowed on by the local mosquito gang”  Nurse:  “Well, we need you to take her to the Dr and make sure that everything is ok – she can’t come back without a note” -  – Me:  (SILENT SCREAM)  So I call the Drs office get an appointment for 11:15, go pick-up Laila take her to the Drs (she’s crying hysterically the whole time because she doesn’t want to miss school – begging me to take her back, really pitiful).  The Dr comes in the room, “What can I do for you today?”  Me:  “Laila has all these bumps on her arms and legs and the school wants a note to make sure she isn’t contageous.”  the Dr checks her out – “Well they just look like bites to me, but some caladryl on them, give her some claritin to help her stop itching”  Me:  “Can she get a note to go back to school”  Dr: “Of course she can  (shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it all)  I leave the Drs office and take Laila back to school.  Big Pain in the ass.  The next day I spend 2 hours running around the school trying to find the check that I gave them the day before for Lunch money.  Small pain in the ass.  This morning I wake up and the house is stifling – I freak out if the AC is any higher than 72 – I go look at the thermostat to see if my husband is back to his game, he turns it up I turn it down – OH NO!  There is nothing on the thermostat at all, the AC isn’t working and the bitch is coming out.  I hate the heat.  I abhor it.  It makes me evil and grouchy, even more than usual.  Hubby’s been working on it all day – he has it figured out but he blew a fuse and can’t get another one until tomorrow – now he’s in the doghouse too.  I told him if he ever wanted to get lucky again he’d hurry up and get that damn thing running again.  Of course, today it is 90 degrees out and with no air condition I started to smell something funky coming from the boys room.  The next thing I did I will regret for the rest of my life – I went in and started poking around – BIG mistake!  I was traumatized by the amount of nasty boy funk lying everywhere – from dirty socks and undies, to old nasty tennis shoes and a plate of week old chicken nuggets.   EWWWW!  PIGS!  These people can not be my kids.  I did not raise them to be disgusting little creatures of the night – what happens to them when they walk into that room.  There must be some kind of mind control that takes place once they enter the inner sanctum.  I did find 75 cents.  Not nearly enough.