Slightly Sarcastic

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This morning I woke up at 4 am, went to the gym at 5 am,  came  back home jumped on the computer to start doing some drops.  The house was so nice and quiet, all the kids still snoozing because they snuck and stayed up watching movies on netflix (they think if they turn a fan on in their room that I can’t hear them).  I must go into some kind of a trance when I do these drops, the next thing I knew it was 8:15 and I had completely spaced – I didn’t get my son up for his middle school transition program -  his was heartbroken (yeah right).

When I was driving home from the gym I had pulled out of the parking lot and was putting my seat belt on while I was driving down the street – a car pulled out in front of me and I came really close to ramming them right in the butt.  I was wondering how many people get in an accident because they were putting their seatbelts on.

Speaking of butts, I have a real problem – I love them – I am a butt freak, I have a butt fetish – This is not sexual in any way – I just think that booties are the most wonderful creation ever.  My poor kids, they can’t walk by me without me squeezin a butt cheek.  My husband – well I won’ t discuss that, except to say that he has the ass of an 18 year old – when I see it I just want to just pinch it and bite it, yum!.  I’m out of control.  I wonder if they have a 12 step program for buttaholics.  I’m afraid I’m creating little butt freaks – my kids are starting to irritate each other by grabbing each others bottoms – wow – that’s a scary look into my house, the nut  (or butt) factory.   It kind of makes me wonder what kind of wierdness goes on behind the doors of the seemingly normal homes everywhere.

So – here’s to wackos everywhere!